Is emotional cheating really cheating?
An affair of the heart
Emotional Cheating — some say it’s the worst kind. They believe sex outside the relationship can be just a momentary lapse in judgement or a one-time succumbing to temptation to immediately gratify a fantasy or physical need. But forming emotional attachments with members of the opposite sex to replace those of your mate, that takes patience, planning, motivation, and consistent intent. It is not simply a quick and dirty response to an overwhelming hormonal influx. It is essentially all the things two people do to form the bond at a deep level which give meaning to all of the daily chores, responsibilities, relationship compromises, and even the sexual act. But it is done outside the context of an openly romantic relationship. Therefore it really seems like a betrayal of the heart on a deep level.
Emotional affairs can go on for years and never cross over into the sexual realm, yet they can be equally or even more devastating to the other partner when they are revealed. So how can you tell she’s cheating? Or if he’s cheating? There are tell tale signs, some unique to men or women, but most are common to both.
Emotional withdrawal and emotional cheating
Any type of withdrawal mentally or emotionally from some aspect of your life together is usually a good indicator that your mate has either checked out entirely from that part of your relationship due to the frustration of unmet needs or expectations, or she is now receiving that stimulation, satisfaction, or support from somewhere else.
Another red flag is when she spends very little time with girlfriends but seems to have a full array of male friends, one or two of which she seems especially close to. They do not appear to be sexually involved in their interaction, but there is some sort of unspoken bond there or an exaggerated closeness that you might expect only in a romantic relationship.
Another tell tale sign is when she is not missing from the house or tardy in returning after her day of work or other daily activities, but she is constantly on the phone texting, posting, chatting, sending and receiving pictures and anything else that can be done via smartphone in a relationship now. Which, by the way, is a list that is expanding exponentially every day. It would not surprise me at all to see an app come out in the very near future that allows you to send “remote orgasms” to the person of your choice from any location at any time. Laugh now, but I’ll bet someone somewhere is working on it.
Finally, if you’ve been arguing, fighting, or disagreeing a lot and on several different topics from the small to the large, but he does not seem angry. He is just distant, aloof, and disengaged from daily life with you. Sure, he goes through the motions, but you don’t feel him present with you. He is obviously detached from the situation on a mental and emotional level and may very well be sustaining himself by seeking, finding, and thriving upon those things he feels he’s missing with you and finding them in other women. The emotional connection that all human beings need to feel in order to feel validated, important, needed, and useful.